Against the City Lights
by Holly-Anne
Summary: Life was meant to leave you asking questions, but those questions come from your actions. When you have a past that you need to escape and have nowhere to go, you search for yourself, sometimes against the city lights.
1. Minature Rivers

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Life With Derek.

**Chapter One**

Maybe it was the darkness, the way the moon shone just perfect through the rear-view mirror, or perhaps it was the rain that dripped gently on the windshield. Watching the miniture rivers of whatever make their way from the top of the glass all the way to the bottom, if they weren't quickly wiped away by the rush of black windshield wipers, but what he was most amazed by was the little rivers that survived. Rare, but not impossible,driving over to the curb, he looked at his side window, millions of little rivers racing their way down the glass. He began to trace them with his index finger, in the background played faint traces of a Celine Dion CD. Not that he liked Celine Dion, but the girl asleep in the passenger seat next to him. He looked over at her, her head was laying against the car seat and her seatbelt. Her hands attempted to cover her bare arms, needless to say, she looked cold. He found himself taking off his big leather jacket and draping it swiftly over her.

He sat back in his seat, sinking down into the soft, leather upholstry. The soft hum of music rang in his ears, but despite it, he knew it fit the mood. He leaned his head back on the seat and soon his eyes closed. It was definitely the night, everything about it seemed so magical, a small smile crept up to his lips and he found his hand gently pulling the keys out of the ignition. Music shut off, the only sound was a few small beeps of a "seatbelt warning", the hum of a cooling engine, and the soft patter of rain on the hood of the car. He relaxed into his seat, rubbing the back of his neck. He loved nights like this, they reminded him so much of more simple times. It seemed like he had drifted off when he felt something shaking him awake.

"Derek," the voice soothed, but the shaking didn't cease. "Why are we stopped? Are you okay?"

A bit startled, he jumped a bit, a short, small gasp escaped his lips. "Hey baby," he muttered. Staring up into the girl's pale, blue eyes. He stroked her cheek. "Had to take a breather, rest. Its late." He smiled and brought his hand up to her faded blonde hair and stroked it softly. He felt her snuggle into his arms.

"Well, we need to get back soon. Classes start on Monday, which I guess would be tomorrow," she said, her voice tired. He saw her give him a quick smile. She took his jacket from her seat and covered them both up with it. "We can take a quick break, do you want me to drive?"

Derek shook his head. "No, that's alright." He kissed her lips quickly. "You just go right back to sleep, sweetie-pie." He looked out the window, the rain had stopped. The road was dark, no other cars passed by, trees seemed to sway in the wind. It seemed a bit scary, out here in the middle of the night. He shrugged and placed the keys back in the ignition and started the car. The engine roared to life and he pulled out onto the road. "College, here we come," he laughed lightly and looked over at his girlfriend. "I love you, Crystal."

_"I love you, Casey MacDonald," he breathed into her hair. "I love you." Again, this time he whispered it into her ear. His arm was wrapped around her waist. Her skin was cold, but emitted a strange, comforting warmth. His fingers swayed against it, back and forth. She arched her back and tossed in the sheets. He quickly lifted his arm from her sleeping form and rolled out off of her bed. He layed down on the floor, his arms over his head. He heard Casey turn, every night he came in here to watch her sleep, she was constantly tossing in her bed, as if she couldn't get to sleep, as if something was bothering, haunting her dreams._

_Obsessed as it seemed, the only time Casey wasn't on his case was when she was sleeping. She didn't exactly look peaceful, but it was while she slept that her true self seemed to shine. He could stare at her all night, holding her close, because it seemed like she needed it. Casey was a hard, deep sleeper, thank God for that. He wasn't sure what would come of anything, had she awoken ever to find him laying there beside her. He wouldn't be able to explain anything, he would just be caught like a deer in headlights. He loved to tease her, it was the perfect way to hide his feelings for her. He could be mean to her and no one was the wiser. He stared up at her ceiling, making shapes with the shadows that were casted across it._

_Thoughts raced endlessly through his mind. He sat himself up and scooted backwards across the floor until his back was against the wall. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked out Casey's window, a bird flying by captured his attention. "Free," he muttered in an almost unaudible voice. "What I wouldn't give to be just that." When you feel trapped in a world that you feel you can never escape. His legs were shaking, but regardless, he felt himself stand up. He walked over to Casey's bed side and kissed her forehead before he exited her room. _

"Derek?"

"Derek!" the voice was shrill, harsh, in panic. It caused Derek to snap up, the voice belonged to the girl in the car. "Watch the road!" she screamed again. Derek looked up, pulled away completely from his thoughts. A car was coming right towards them, he quickly spun the car into the other lane. The girl's breath next to him was heavy. She was digging her nails into his arm, Derek could almost hear her heart pounding through her body. He looked at her, he found his breathing heavily as well. "I woke up, something didn't seem right, and there you were, dazed at the wheel in the wrong lane!" Derek saw tears in her eyes. 

"Sorry, baby," Derek breathed.

"Maybe I should drive," she whispered, pulling a long strand of blonde hair and tucking it behind her ear.

"Yeah, maybe." Derek pulled over to the curb for the second time that night. He looked at the clock, it flashed in bright, red, block numbers: 5:45 AM. He looked at them until they all just blurred together, then he reached down and unbuckled his seat belt. "Here." He opened the door and made his way to the other side of the car, his fingers grazing the car's warm surface. He looked up at the sky, it was still dark, stars still sprinkled the black blanket of sky. He looked over as Crystal seemed to fly past him.

"Get in the car, Derek," she seemed to yell, but he realized it was a demand. It was all to familiar, but he obeyed, walking over and crawling into the passenger seat.

"Let's go." He pulled his seatbelt over him, clicking it into place.

"Are you bothered by something?" his girlfriend asked, her eyes completely on the road however, except with one swift motion of her hand and red painted fingernails, she seemed to push in the Celine Dion CD and turn the volume knob to a tolerable volume. "You've been acting strange all night. It seemed like when I was awake you didn't realize I was even there." She bit her bottom lip, and for a second her eyes darted over to him.

"I'm okay," he replied in a quick drawl. "Just tired is all. Haven't slept much with it being Spring Break, and all."

She sighed and clicked the blinker over to turn. "Get some sleep when we get back to the dorm. Promise?"

"Yes, ma'am," Derek teased, mocking a salute to her. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I promise, as long as you do to."

Her lips turned up into a half-smile. "Don't worry about me," she reached over and ruffled his light brown hair in her hands. "Wow," she joked, "your hair is soft. Are you stealing my shampoo?"

He rolled his eyes. "Honestly. What do you think Crystal? It sure won't smell like your shampoo." His eyes glanced quickly out the window, the road and yellow lines were such a blur as the car whirled past them. Trying to keep up with them made his head throb. "Crystal," his voice was soft-spoken, almost a whisper.

"Yes, oh great, Derek Venturi?" She laughed slightly.

"I love you. I really do, I love you."

She glanced over at him, a small, puzzled look in her eyes. "I love you too, Derek. I love you too."


	2. Glitters and Gold

**Diclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Chapter Two**

"You and Crystal have _fun_ in Florida?" Derek's eyes looked up from the books he tried to balance unsuccessfully in his hands. His friend, Michael, a tall, muscular, blonde was standing in front of him, occassionally slapping his back. Michael was a bit, perverted, for lack of a better word. He emphasized the word fun and gave Derek a very noticable wink. "Eh, my good man?"

Derek rolled his eyes and stood up, facing his friend. "Yes, me and Crystal had an _excellent _time," Derek replied with a sarcastic, mocking tone. Michael nodded, and did a pelvic thrust, obviously pleased with his friend's answer.

"I envy you, man," Michael groaned, sitting Derek down rather forcefully and then plopping down on the couch next to him. "You're star of the hockey team, dude, you even got here on a scholarship. You're basically head of our fraternity, have the hottest girlfriend ever. Men want Crystal so bad and Derek, V-Man, you've tapped that!" Michael hit his back again, this time with more force. It made Derek wince a bit, but he couldn't help but laugh.

"All that glitters isn't gold," Derek muttered. If only Michael knew, if only anyone did, that his life wasn't exactly perfect. He leaned back into the couch, it was soft, but torn with wore, yet it gave him a sense, a taste of feeling home in such an akward place. Such a place that college only throws you into, sitting on a cheap couch with the biggest pervert on campus. Maybe Derek was like that once, back in high school.

"What man? Isn't that from a song or something?" Michael gave him a confused look and tilted his head. He looked like a puppy that had just been scolded and didn't quite understand.

Derek chuckled. "Its a saying, I'm not sure where from, but a girl I knew used to say it often." He paused, seeming lost in thought for a split second. "When she said it, though, she gave it so much sense, meaning."

Michael laughed and punched Derek's shoulder. "This girl another one of your hott ex-girlfriends?"

Derek shook his head. "No, but one could wish. She wasn't hott, she was beautiful. She wasn't sexy, she was gorgeous. She had a sparkle in her eye that made it seem like anything could be perfect." Derek wrung his hands together nervously. "That's enough though." He dug into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. From the emerging wads of cash that crowded the wallet's money pocket, a small picture stuck out from the crumpled bills. He pulled it out gently, as if it was more important than the money itself. He handed the picture to his friend, taking all the precautions in the world. "Hold the edges, be careful. I'm not sure what I would do if I lose this."

It was the most perfect thing in the world, even to Michael's eyes. Two young teenagers were holding eachother. The boy had his arms wrapped around the girl's waist. Long, brown hair seemed to cascade in curls around her shoulders, outlining her heart shaped face, and making her hazel colored eyes pop. Derek was right, there was sparkle. Michael shifted his eyes over to the boy in the picture, he recgonized him as Derek. The two looked so happy, but there was an invisible wall between them, some sort of distance. Maybe for once in his life, Michael was completely speechless. He handed the picture back to Derek. "You were right man, she does seem like a special girl." Derek looked down at the picture before quickly stuffing it into his wallet and then his wallet back into his jean's pocket.

_"Derek?" he turned around. There was Casey in all her glory, standing before him like some angel who'd just got her wings. Her hands were on her hips, her bottom lip jutted out in a form of pout. Derek froze in place. He looked her over, a cream cami and purple pajama bottoms, not that he was surprised. "Why are you in my room at," she glanced over at the clock on her nightstand, "two thirty-six in the morning?"_

_"I was looking for your diary," he lied. "you wouldn't possibly see me coming while you were sleeping." He saw her raise a delicate eyebrow. Derek jumped at her, and did a mock karate move, lifting his arms and a leg obnoxiously in the air. "Sneak ninja attack!" then he ran out of her room in a hurry. He snickered a bit because his actions made Casey jump, but also because she was none the wiser._

_Casey groaned and walked over to crawl back into her warm bed. She glanced over at her desk, under two books lay her diary. If one looked carefully, it was in plain site. She did a quick jog over to the desk, reaching it in four jog steps, and she picked it up and placed it in one of the desk drawers. If Derek was stupid enough to not look on the desk, maybe he was stupid enough to not look in one of the drawers. She walked over to her bed once again and sank into the warm, comforting sheets. _

"She was," the words tumbled out of his mouth as he swallowed a thick, sickening lump in his throat. 

"What happened to her?" Michael inquired, his gaze didn't leave Derek's now spacing out eyes.

"She's just gone, that's all," Derek said, he seemed to take a bit of offence to the subject. He grabbed his books and began to stalk off.

"Derek!" Michael shouted out to him, but nothing. His friend didn't turn around, or even seem to hear his call. There was something strange, something alluring about the girl in the photo, something that didn't quite make sense. Sure she was a past love of Derek's. There just seemed so much more to the story, but it had to be left for another time.

Derek walked out to his car, a shiny black BMW sitting in the student parking lot of the Fraternity building. He saw a pretty, brunette, tall and slender walk quickly by, she winked at him. He sighed, and ran his fingers throug his hair as he pulled out his car keys from his back pocket and clicked the unlock button. The car beeped a few times and Derek opened the door and slid into the cold, leather seats. He placed the keys in the ignition and the car whirled to life, a heavy metal band played loudly out of the car speaker. Derek quickly covered his ears before he turned the volume down to silent.

He pulled down the mirror in his car and looked at his reflection. "Derek," he whispered, "how can you live with this?" He chewed on his bottom lip before falling back into the seat.

"What would they do...?"


	3. Rainbow Prisms

**Disclaimer:** I Do Not Own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Guys, please read and review or no more chapters for you. :) Jayykayy, but really, I'd really appreciate it. I've spent a lot of time on my stories and I'm not updating Find Yourself until I get some more reviews on my last chapter. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review! Keep in mind that italics are all flashbacks. Thank you, all my loyal and beautiful and amaziing readers!! Stay tuned for more!!

**Chapter Three **

_It was dripping down her face, her mascara was running and her cheeks were blushed bright red with either embarrassment or confusion. "Get away from me!" her words stabbed through him like a sword. She was standing there, arms crossed, her pink shirt clinging to her arms and stomach. It wasn't in a sexy way, in fact, the scene was upsetting, if you looked closely you could tell through the rain that she was crying. _

_"Casey!" he looked at her through his pieces of hair, clinging to each other in the rain. He watched water drip off the ends and onto the green, metal car hood he was leaning on. "Casey!" he screamed again. The car keys in his hand jingled before they slipped from his hand, but his eyes didn't leave her. One hand was brought up to her left temple and she was looking down at the driveway at what seemed like deep thought. _

_"What do you want me to say Derek?" she screamed back. Her hands now at fists at her sides. Her words were breaking, she tried to keep her voice steady, but Derek could tell there was a lump there in her throat. _

_"I didn't... I never wanted to hurt you, Casey. Please." His words were just as jumbled and choked up as her's were. "Please," he pleaded. He began to walk towards her but she stepped backwards. She shook her head and glared at him. _

_"Not now, Derek Venturi, not now!" then she turned and ran, leaving Derek in the cold. He sunk to his knees, his jeans soaked and chilling his skin, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter because the girl he loved was running down the street away from his life. The first of a fatal mistake. _

Hot, uncomfortable sweat drenched his skin and sheets, but he hardly noticed it as he sat up, wide awake. "Casey," he muttered. "No. No. No." Not that dream again, it seemed like he had it every single night. Derek Venturi rolled over to his side, his eyes facing the empty space next to him. He rolled back over onto his back, hands behind his head and looking up at the ceiling. He pulled at his hair, trying to search his brain, his mind for clues. He realized his heart was pounding uncontrollably in his chest.

He stood up, his legs felt like lead, he was shaking. He was able to steady himself by grabbing things along the way to guide him. Soon, in the bathroom, he put his hands on both sides of the sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror. "Derek Venturi," he growled, swiping his arm across the bathroom counter, knocking over toothbrushes, toothpastes, cups, lotions, and cologne off of the sink. His breathing, heavier this time he glared back at himself in the mirror. "How could you do that to her? How could you..." his words trailed off. "...you can't even look at yourself. Never have." His eyes shifted the corner and he swore that in the side of the mirror he could see something staring right back at him.

_"What'd you do Derek?" School was as stressful as ever, especially with an angry faced Emily Davis shaking one's shoulders. Her curly, ringlet hair strung around her face, making the features on her face look pretty despite the fact that her expression was twisted up into a malicious scowl. _

_Derek growled at her, he pushed her aside. "Stay out of it, Emily." Emily ran in front of him, walking backwards so that she could face him. A scowl was imprinted on her face. Derek looked away, drifting his eyes to the floor. _

_"She was at my house crying all night because you guys got into a fight. This seemed pretty bad! What did you do?"  
Derek wanted to slap Emily in the face. She had no reason to be poking around in business that wasn't her's. In fact, he said that. In which, it just made Emily angrier. She pushed Derek against a row of lockers and stared him in the eye. Derek was a bit surprised, he wasn't sure Emily had it in her. He lifted his hands up in a form of surrender, he wasn't going to fight a girl. Emily just kept her gaze on him and spoke. "It became my business the moment my best friend came to my house, dripping in the rain, with tears running down her face." _

_"She shouldn't be with him, Emily!" Derek screamed, people were looking at him now. _

_"Since when do you care about Casey and her choices?" Emily hissed through her clenched teeth. She let go of her grip on Derek. Derek sunk back into the lockers and readjusted his backpack on his shoulder. _

_"I may seem like a heartless jerk," Derek spat, "but when I see something like that going on, I will not, I refuse to let it happen." He threw his hands into the air. "Ricky makes Scott look like a sweetheart. I'd rather he be cheating on her." _

_"You can't prove anything, Derek," Emily yelled as she spun on her heel and walked off. Derek just stared at her disappearing figure. Derek growled in frustration, he turned angrily and punched the nearest locker to him. His teeth gnashed he wasn't going to tolerate this... _

...and he wasn't going to tolerate it now, either. He made his right hand into a tight fist and punched the mirror. "Leave!" he screamed, "Leave! Not now, please." Glass shattered, cutting deep into his hand. Derek winced slightly, looking at the cuts, blood seemed to pour out of the open wounds. He unrolled a large strand of toilet paper and wrapped it tightly around his hand. Scarlet color still flowed to the surface of the tissue, but he ignored it. Instead, he was looking at the pieces of glass that lay scattered around the bathroom.

"It's all your fault," a voice screamed in his head.

Derek opened his jaw and closed his eyes, rocking back and forth on the toilet top. "Go away," he yelled, tears brimmed the edge of his eyes. "Please," he whispered.

"Derek!" he heard a door swing open. His eyes widened and he lifted his knees to his chest. The bathroom door swung open, there was Crystal. The lights in the bathroom bounced off the pieces of glass and onto her, giving the look of a rainbow dancing around her form. Derek leaned his head back onto the toilet back. "What happened?" she gasped, walking over to him, avoiding the glass prisms. 

"I got upset," he muttered. She embraced him and he returned it. " Crystal," he muttered again, "I can't take all this stress."

"I know, baby," she comforted, rocking back and forth lovingly with him like a mother would a baby.

"Why are you here, Crystal?" he asked, as the two started to get up and walk back into Derek's bedroom.

"I had a feeling you needed me," she hushed, "women's intuition."

_"You... one thing my womanly intuition couldn't figure out."_

"Yeah," he whispered, "that's exactly what it had to be."


	4. Velvet Lips

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews, guys! I hope there will be more and I'm glad you like my story. :) Also, the flashback in this chapter occurs BEFORE the one in the previous chapter. It'll all make sense soon and be tied together in the next few chapters.

**Chapter Four **

"Fever," her words were so soothing, perhaps because her voice was so sweet and soft. Her cold hand raised to his burning forehead, he felt shivers go up his spine. He may have been burning up, but Derek Venturi was freezing to the bone. 

"Crystal," he whispered, he brought his hand up and caressed the side of her face. She grabbed his hand and held it tightly. She hushed him. "No," he pleaded, "I've got to..." She placed a cold finger to his lips.

"Don't speak, Derek, you're sick. Get some rest." She got up and grabbed her purse draped over the back of a chair. "I'm running to the store to get you some stuff, my love, stay here." Derek nodded, he swallowed a few times. He didn't want to be alone, not know. Crystal had a right to know everything.

_Derek looked behind him, kneeling down on the hard, living earth. His fingers were caked in dirt, but he couldn't help but place that single flower into the dirt. "Forever," he whispered. He gently took his index finger and thumb and carefully stroked the flower's pink, delicate petals. Footsteps sounded behind him, he quickly froze up. He looked straight forward until he felt a hand grip tightly onto his shoulder. _

_"What is this?" He turned around to face her, Casey MacDonald, his step-sister._

_"A plant," he spat. He got up quickly and attempted to stalk off._

_"Are you meaning to say that perhaps Derek Venturi has a soft side? A caring side? Where he plants things?" her giggles filled the air like a bittersweet song. He cringed slightly, wanting to pick her up and spin her around, show her everything he knew._

_"What if I do?" he stuck out his tongue. A bit childish, to be sure, but nothing quite unusual. Even at sixteen, he could be as immature as he wanted to be. She returned his immatureness by sticking her own tongue out and then flipping her hair over her shoulder. She darted off as if to say, "catch me". Derek took the dare and ran after her, quickly catching up with her. He tackled her to the forest floor, rolling on top of her. Her big, hazel eyes stared back at him, he leaned down, wanting to kiss her, but she seemed to roll out from under him before he could try anything._

_"Dinner time," her words were quick as she left. It was as if she knew what was going to go on. Derek lay on the ground, alone, fists clenched at his side._

_Dinner wasn't any better. He couldn't stop looking at her, he had to tell her, had to say something. He teased her throughout the course of the meal, but when she disappeared into her bedroom, he was quickly at her door. What had he to be scared of? He was Derek Venturi, girls wanted him, boys wanted to be him. He was popular, a jock, the best hockey player this side of Canada had ever seen. Then, she, she was Casey MacDonald, smart and sweet. She was clutzy, but all in good taste. She walked around awkwardly, blushed when a boy even looked at her and got lost in the most simple things._

_He knocked at her door once, twice. A voice sang out from the other side, "Who is it?"_

_"Derek," he coughed._

_"What do you want?" her voice grew hard, she seemed to shriek the words out._

_"To talk to you?" he raised the end of the phrase. The door flung open, she stood there, again, her hands on her hips, curled, brown hair fell down her shoulders, curled at the ends._

_He walked in, past her and sat down on her bed. She turned to face him. "What?" she rolled her eyes. "Make it quick. I have homework and I need to update my web blog."_

_She was such a nerd, but he loved her for it. She was so smart, everything he wasn't. She completed him, simply. "I love you," the words ran together, he wasn't sure how or when they tumbled out, but they did nonetheless. He stood up and circled around her, his hand touching her hair, her face, her lips. He saw her eyes following him. Finally, he stopped and turned her face torwards his. "Please," he muttered, bringing his face in closer to her's. "tell me you feel the same."_

_She stood back and looked him in the eyes. He saw her lips tremble, through the one single touch of his finger on her skin, he could feel her body shake from his gaze. He leaned his, his lips almost touching her's, he could feel her breathe. Smell her, take her all in, she smelled like perfume and soap. She stepped back and his heart sunk, she bit her bottom lip, and he grabbed for her hand. She looked at her small hand in his, she gulped and looked back into his eyes. He pulled her towards him, and held her face in his hands and pressed his lips to her's. Her lips were like velvet and tasted like cherry lip gloss. Something he had waited for so long, but it soon ended. She pulled away so fast and pushed him out of her room._

"Casey," he whispered as she slammed the door in his face.

"Derek," she spoke from the opposite end, "I'm sorry. I can't do this. What would George and my mother say?" So that's what it had come down to. They were step-siblings and it would most likely be something to be looked down upon. He backed up against the wall and fell against it, a single tear running down his cheek.

"Smerek?" the cheerful words came from a comforting, younger sister. Marti Venturi, biological, six years old. Maybe one person that Derek put before himself. He cared for her, but strictly as a sister, of course. She leaned down and gave him a hug. "Why you be crying?"

Derek faked a smile. "I'm crying because I'm happy, Smarti," which was partially the truth and not all a lie. He stood up, picking her up with him. He flung her around in a playful manner and kissed her forehead. "This girl I loved, gave me an answer. Maybe not the one I want, but one." He put her down. "You'll understand one day."

With wide, brown eyes she stared up at him. "One day?"

"Yeah, when you fall in love."

Sweat, covering his body, shaking with chills. He got up, stumbling over to the box on his dresser. A key strung around his neck that never left its place fumbled in his hands. He clicked the key into the lock.

"They've got to know," his words, hardly heard, more of thought in some sense. In his dillusional state, he seemed to be screaming them far out into the world.


	5. Keys and Beer

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Life With Derek.

**Chapter Five**

Crystal Joy Jones was a pretty girl. The word pretty even underestimated her true beauty, but it was a beauty one couldn't place their finger on. Her eyes were a sparkling green, that shown from almond shaped eyes and naturally curly hair that even out the sides of her perfect, heart shaped face. Right now, her lips were lined with pink gloss and her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, with wisps of bangs dangling in front of her eyes. Her hand was gripped tightly to her boyfriend's, Derek Venturi. She was growing sleepy, a bit with boredom, but she was scared to leave his side, in case he tried something stupid. Her head was on his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. She was slightly worried, for one's heart should not be beating as fast as his. She had tried to pressure him earlier into checking into the hospital but he refused, saying it was unnecessary. Everything had been so strange lately, she had never seen him acting like this. He was always so carefree, cute, cocky, a bit self-concieted, but he always acted like he was hiding something. When she had come back from the store, she found him hunched over a box, dripping with sweat and shivering.

At this moment, curiousity had gotten the better of her. She walked over to the box and flipped the top open, the key still hung from the lock. Inside was lined with pictures, news clippings, a diary, and random notes folded up into little shapes. Crystal chewed on her bottom lip and raised an eyebrow. She picked up one of the news clippings, it read:

**LOCAL GIRL WINS NATIONAL SCIENCE FAIR **

Below the title was a smiling girl holding a big, gold trophy and a blue ribbon. It didn't seem to intrigue Crystal very much, though she wondered why Derek had that, she threw it to the side and continued to dig. 

She picked up the journal, it was locked, but with some fiddling, she managed to break it open. It was covered with pink fur, a little jeweled heart in the corner. Crystal remember having such a diary once. She flipped open to a random page and began to read outloud:

"Dear Diary, I don't understand anything anymore. Everything was perfect until he came into my life!..."

_Casey scribbled furiously in her diary, words escaping quietly from her lips... "...the other night Derek kissed me! I mean, how... strange is that? I thought he hated me, I guess I'm confused. He knows I'm with Ricky. I like Ricky, he's my boyfriend, he treats me good. No, I love Ricky. I've decided I won't tell him about the kiss, it'll just ruin everything good we have. Derek didn't like Ricky from day one, I guess I know why now, because he liked me too. Love me even? I don't know why I kissed him back, I guess I couldn't find it in myself to reject him. He teased me a lot, but ever since the kiss, he hasn't at all. I know why, its all too awkward..." _

_"Hey, Case," her door swung open, it was Derek and she froze up a bit. Was her heart pounding?_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Nora wants you downstairs." Then he shut the door and she heard him walk off. She breathed in heavily. Was that it? It seemed to upset her slightly. She raced downstairs though to help her mom with dinner. However, one place wouldn't be set tonight, that was Casey's. She had a date with Ricky tonight, he was going to pick her up. She was excited, so after helping set dinner she raced back up the stiars to finish applying last minute makeup touch ups and putting on a cute pair of heels._

_It seemed forever until the doorbell rang. She walked gracefully down the stairs, flipping curled hair over her shoulder and batting long, dark eyelashes. She wore something sexy, but not to revealing, a short black skirt, with a pink cami, over that a black sweater, and a black pair of heels that tied up her leg. She smiled big and opened the door to her boyfriend, who took her up in a sweeping, romantic kiss. From the corner of a partially opened eye, Casey saw Derek looking on with disgust, and for a split second, she felt terrible. Her heart sunk into her stomach and then crawled into her throat._

_"Bye!" she sang out quickly, trying not the think on the terrible feeling that resided in her._

_Her and Ricky went to a quick dinner at Smellie Nellie's then headed out to a party. Ricky was somewhat of a partier, and Casey could deal with it. She just wished he wouldn't drink so much, she didn't mind the parties, they were fun to watch at times. People acting like fools while drunk or high. She normally just sat in the car and fell asleep, listening to music, or sat out on the front porch. Ricky seldom payed attention to her at parties, that's why she hated going to them with him, but she was willing to follow him to the end of the Earth. So, Casey really didn't mind._

_When Casey walked into the party, not even sure whose house it was, people were everywhere, screaming, loud music, people were offering them beer and other types of alcochol Casey couldn't identify. She politely refused them, she heard a couple kids mutter, "Figures." Casey knew she was a good girl and she was proud of it even if she got ridiculed, what did she care what people thought of her. Like always, Casey found herself sitting on a bench on the front porch, with a couple making out right next to her. She held her hands in her head. Then she saw a car pull up, speeding down the road, and then coming to a quick, shrieking stop._

_"Fasthsionably late," she heard someone shout out in a quick slur. In the darkness, she couldn't make the figure out, but she recgonized the voice, knowing she knew it before. Three boys stumbled up the driveway from the car. Two were holding the boy in the middle, but they all seemed to trip over their feet. All were drunk. Casey froze, the boy in the middle was Derek, the boys on either side were Sam and Ralph. "Casthey?" Derek muttered, a brown paper bag in his hand, a bottle emerged from the top. "You don't go to parties," he laughed then collapsed onto the driveway._

_Casey inhaled deeply and walked over to him. "You're drunk and you've been ignoring me."_

_Derek looked up at her and hissed through his teeth. "I can't thalk about thisth now," he slurred and got up. "Exthuse me, I've gots a party," then he surprisingly found himself inside the house. Sam shrugged and laughed slightly, Ralph just followed. The two weren't as drunk as Derek was. Casey made a mental note of that. She found herself back inside the mad house, worried about Derek. However, Casey was grabbed by Ricky who saw her and pulled her close to him. Alcohol was on his breathe, like everyone else in the home. He had her by the hand and was showing her off like a trophy to someguy friends she had never met before. She looked shyly at the ground trying to push him away as he attempted to kiss her. Kisses meant nothing if someone was drunk, if they weren't in the right, sound mind._

_She looked behind her, Derek was being grinded on by a pretty red-head who wore too much eye makeup. Derek was laughing and then spun the girl around and pulled her into a deep, long kiss, full more of lust than anything else. Casey gasped, a bit jealous. How dare he say he loved her and then go off and kiss someone else no more than a week later! He deserved to be slapped, her face fumed and she closed her eyes tightly and breathed in deeply. When she looked again, she didn't see Derek or the girl, and to make things worse she had to dodge another meaningless kiss from Ricky. Then she felt herself being pulled away by two big arms. She looked behind her, it was Derek, she saw red lipstick smeared across his face, but she didn't have time to think because a fist was flying past her and smacking Ricky right in the jaw._

_Casey let out a shrill scream, "Der-ek!" She tried to get between them, "Stop it!" Derek threw her to the side, she fell to the ground and started to shout out, "Quit! Quit!" No avail, all her shouts were in vaim and drowned out by the many kids surrounding the scene, beers in hand, shouting out the exact opposite._

_"She doesn't want to kiss you," Derek yelled, he had Ricky on the ground, punching him repeatedly in the face. Ricky glared at Derek and wiped blood from the corner of his mouth and grabbed Derek by the shoulders and threw him to the ground._

_"Don't tell me what to do, Derek," he stood up and kicked Derek in the side. "Why play big brother now?" He kicked him again then leaned down and whispered into Derek's ear. "You may be ontop the world now, but you just wait and see..." Derek grabbed clumsily at Ricky's ankles, but being drunk and his vision extremely blurred, he kept missing. "Worthless," Ricky spit and then walked away, past Casey, past the crowd that soon seemed to thin out._

_Casey was angry, her breathing heavy, she felt beads of sweat crowd around her forehead. "Der-ek!!" she screamed, grabbing his hand, he was clinging to his sides. "We are leaving! Right now!" She reached into his jean pocket and grabbed his keys. She held onto him and helped him into the car. "We are going home, and sneaking you in! I can't believe you, Derek!"_

_Sam was running out after them, pulling a shirt on. Casey shook her head in disgust. "Wait! Casey! How am I going to get home?" he stumbled on a rock and fell onto his face._

_"Not this way!" Casey yelled, fed up with the night and jamming the keys into the ignition then glaring at Derek. He was looking at her with apologizing eyes. "Don't look at me," she growled, staring straight forward at the road, rain started to fall down lightly._

_"Casey," Derek muttered trying to control his voice, "please listen to me..."_

_"Why'd you kiss that girl? Do you know her? Then you try to beat up my boyfriend? I was fine!"_

_"Casey!" he yelled, "I don't know her, but he wasth, wasth, you didn't like it! What if he wanted sexs? Then what, Casey?" He crossed his arms._

_"I can take care of myself!"_

_"No, maybe." Derek held his head and seemed to wince in pain. Casey could tell his head hurt. "I love you," he whispered, "I love you."_

"Don't say that, Derek, you're drunk."

"I mean it, maybe now more, not sober than ever!" he said, his voice level increased. Rain was pouring down harder now than ever. Casey shot him an angry look, for the hundreth time in the last five minutes. "I do!" He reached over and tried to grab her hand.

"No!" she screamed, "Derek! I have a boyfriend! I won't be just another notch in your perverbial belt!"

"No using big words when I'm drunk!" Derek scolded then giggled.

Casey pulled into the driveway, she threw open the door, and stomped out of the car. Derek crawled out on the other side and stood up, leaning on the hood of the car. Rain was dripping down Casey's face, she could feel her makeup smearing and she could see Derek's eyes peering out at her from his now, wet hair. 'I love you,' he muttered to her. She looked at him and shook her head. "Casey!" he yelled out, "Casey!"

"What do you want me to say, Derek?" she screamed back, a tear running down her face. How could she understand? How could he?

Crystal raised an eyebrow as she read the last entry. The girl, Casey, had... was... who was she? Derek had to be Crystal's Derek, Derek Venturi. She flipped quickly through the diary, only to have it taken quickly away by Derek.

"What are you doing, Crystal?" he demanded. He closed the diary in his hands, picked up the box and shoved everything into it and locked it up, closing the key in around his hand.

"I... was just..." Crystal trembled, he looked so, so, upset.

"Curious?" he muttered, "Curiousity killed the cat, Crystal!" Derek knealt down next to her, his face still flushed. Against Crystal he was burning up, but he still clung to her, stroking her. "I don't mean to be so angry, my love. Its just, well, I'll tell you in time."

Crystal nodded. He was sick, upset, she could understand, plus, later, she could see where he was keeping the keys to the box...


	6. Backstabbing Kisses

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Sorry guys! I'm back!! Chapter probably sucks, sorry. :(

**Chapter Six **

Crystal had sat by Derek's side for the past few days, squeezing his hands, running errands for him. She realized how much she loved him. People around campus had been asking about him, she didn't even know what was wrong with him. She did find herself infatuated with this Casey McDonald's diary, thinking about it constantly. She wanted to know what happened after the party, after the rainy night. 

Against Derek's wishes, Crystal found herself stealing the key and once again reading the diary when Derek was asleep. She opened the book, yellow, a bit faded with age, but still readable. She flipped open to the diary entry a few days after the party and read quietly to herself: "Dear Diary, I don't know what to do..."

_"...Emily confronted Derek at school. He was a bit upset about it, came home and yelled at me. I haven't talked much to Ricky, he claims he's busy. I'm starting to care less." Casey chewed on her pencil, laying on her stomach, feet swaying in the air. She looked up and then quickly started to scribble on the paper again, talking outloud to herself what she wrote. "I don't want to lose Ricky or Derek. They mean a lot to me, but both are upset. Why are they mad at me? I didn't do anything. Boys, boys, boys. So... well, confusing!" _

Casey heard the front door creaking and then close quickly. Casey raised a puzzled eyebrow and looked at the clock on her dresser. The clock read: 12:31 A.M. Was Derek sneaking out? Casey quickly slipped on some blue, fuzzy slippers and ran down the stairs and silently out the front door. She saw a car parked outside and her older step-brother doing a quick jog to the car. "Derek?" Casey calmly called out. She watched Derek turn around, she bit her bottom lip hard and stared him in the eye.  
  
_"What?" Derek demanded, Casey could see the hurt in his eyes. She didn't know why, but she walked towards him, he didn't move. Someone in the car yelled out for Derek to come on but the two of them stood still. Casey was inches away from him, just staring in his eyes. He looked down quickly and then to the side. Casey tip-toed onto the balls of her feet, leaned up, and kissed him quickly on the lips before falling back down onto her heels. Derek licked his lips quickly and then grabbed her hand and walked with her back into the house. Casey was somewhat confused but she stood there in the foyer of the house as Derek closed the front door and pushed her up against the wall. Casey felt her heart beating, she wasn't sure what was going on, not even when Derek's lips fell on top of her's. Everything was quite awkward, she was against the wall, arms at her sides. Derek's hands were on either side of her, his head leaning down to kiss her. _

At least the kiss was great.

It felt like a dream sequence when Derek pulled from the kiss and stepped back. Casey heard a cell phone vibrate and Derek pulled it from his pocket and threw it to the floor. Then Derek picked Casey up in his arms like a groom does to a bride before they enter their new house and new life together. Casey looked up at him, she saw him in a whole new light for a few seconds, then he kissed her again while he carried her up the stairs. Casey was a little frightened she'd admit, nothing like this had happened to her before. No guy had been so gentle and romantic as Derek. He carried her into her bedroom and laied her in bed. Casey was scared something could happen, but it didn't. He looked at her, kissed her lips and then stated: "Why are you up? Its way past your bed time." Then Derek was gone. Casey didn't know if he went back to his room or snuck out that night. All she knew was that he was up the next morning before she was.

Crystal hadn't known Derek to be like that before. Sure, he had times where he was sweet and caring, but something about this made Crystal extremely jealous. She realized that Derek loved this girl, step-sister or not. The whole issue there, she also found, didn't bother her either as much as she might've thought it would. She read on. 

_Then next night, Derek and Casey invited a few people over to their house while their parents were out. All with permission, of course. Casey had over Emily, Sheldon, and Ricky. While Derek invited over Sam, Ralph, and his new girlfriend Amanda. Amanda was a pretty girl with long red hair and freckles speckeled around a perfect, heart-shaped face. Casey found herself growing green with envy, but she kept it to herself. She had Ricky, whose hands were playing with her's, she'd giggle occassionally and kiss him, but all the while looking over at Derek. Derek was sitting on the arm of the couch, his arm dangled over Amanda's shoulders, from underneath his hair, Casey saw him looking back at her. She had never hated him more. _

Amanda had to think that she was on top of the world. She was Derek's girlfriend, the most popular boy in school...

"So," Ralph said in the middle of a movie the group was watching. "when do your guys' parents get home?"

Derek chuckled, "Not for a while. The kids are all spending the night elsewhere and they said you all had to be gone by one, at least."

"Well, its only eight-thirty, and..." Ralph grinned as he reached into the backpack he brought and pulled out a six pack of beer. The boys around laughed, including Ricky, which made Casey spring back from him and angrily scoff.

"Der-ek!" Casey screeched, "Help me get the snacks from the kitchen!" Casey stomped her foot and gave Ralph and dirty look. Derek chuckled a bit as he followed his step-sister into the kitchen. As he entered he leaned against the wall and shoved his hands in his pockets. "What is this, Derek? Beer? In the house? If Nora and your father found out, we would never again be able to have company again when they're not home! Are you crazy?"

Derek shook his head. "Which is why they won't find out," he placed his index finger to Casey's lips. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a lovely girl in there waiting for me." As Derek began to turn around, Casey slapped him across the face, imprinting a red hand-print onto his face. Derek winced and held his face. "What as that for?"

Casey glared at him and placed her hands on her hips. "You know exactly what for." The words that every boy hates to hear, because in a girl's mind, they know what's wrong, but in a boy'd mind he has no idea what he did.

Derek took a few short breathes and then grabbed Casey's shoulders, "Woah, woah, woah!" A smirk appeared across his lips as he placed his arm around Casey's shoulder, who shrunk back. "You're jealous about Amanda? Aren't you?" He turned to face her, his face level to her's. "Why? Is it because she's prettier than you? Or maybe because... I don't know, she's mine?" Derek's eyes were like fire, Casey's lip trembled. Last night... and now... "Be careful who you pick your fights with. Now, go get some snacks, that's why you came in here."

Casey swallowed the lump in her throat, but appeared out, as happy as ever. She placed the tray of food on the coffee table for everyone. Ricky, Derek, Sam, Ralph, and Amanda had a beer in their hand, Emily and Sheldon were sitting on the edge of the couch making out. Casey felt like the whole room was spinning around her, she saw everything bad, immoral, all around her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Derek lean down and kiss Amanda's lips, but she saw the corner of his eye lock with her's. Casey knew what he was doing, she wanted to scream and cry all at the same time.

"Here Case, you look a little down," Ricky took the last beer from the pack and handed it to her.

"I don't drink, you know that Rick," Casey protested.

"There's a first time for everything..." Rick winked. Casey wrinkled her eyebrows and slid away.

"Its the last one..." Casey said, "I wouldn't want to..."

Ralph laughed and pulled out another pack. "Don't worry, darlin', we're fine."

Casey had about three beers before Ralph decided it would be a good idea to play truth or dare. "Anything goes!" Derek laughed, "I know some of us are taken, but you know, to make everything more interesting..."

"I don't mind," Ricky laughed, as he twirled a piece of Amanda's hair around his fingers. "Its just a game." Casey looked at him, rather disgusted.

"I go first," Derek said, his speech began to slur. "I dare..." he looked around the room. "for Casey to kiss Sam." He laughed, like it was a big accomplishment.

"Eww!" Casey shrieked, she was going to need another drink... 


	7. Vomiting Mustard

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** Sorry guys! I'm back!! Chapter probably sucks, sorry. :( Also, sorry its so shorrtt.

**Chapter Seven **

It had been about a week since Derek Venturi had taken ill. Crystal stayed by his side, causually comforting him and going through his step - sister's diary. Crystal had fallen asleep while reading about a drunken get together of truth or dare, at that point in the story, Crystal wanted to punch Derek in the face. ...but then he was a derelict sixteen or seventeen year old who knew absolutely nothing about life as of yet. Crystal awoke, the diary in her lap, she picked it up after rubbing her eyes and continued to read.

_Casey was leaning over the toilet, like she had been for the past few hours, vomiting every last fluid in her body. Derek sat next to her, holding her hair and rubbing her back. He had ended up sending everyone home. Casey couldn't hold her liquor and he had rushed her upstairs. She had been making a fool of herself and it bothered Derek, knowing his friends, her boyfriend, everyone would end up talking about it. He had made everyone swear not to talk about it and cleaned up the mess downstairs while Casey stayed upstairs in the bathroom. When Casey passed out, Derek carried her back into her bedroom, and fell asleep on her floor. _

_The next morning, Casey woke up with a headache and no memory of last night after her fight with Derek. She moaned and grabbed her head, she sat up and winced, her eyes felt strained. She looked down to see Derek sprawled across her floor. "Derek?" she muttered. His eyes fluttered open._

_"Good morning sleeping beauty, sleep well?"_

_"I'm not sure," Casey grumbled as she fell back onto her bed. Her headache seemed to feel better laying down than up. "I don't remember last night."_

_"Good thing to," Derek said groggily and pulled Casey's blankets down from her bed and over him on the floor._

_"Derek!" she cried, but making no effort to pull them back up onto her. "I feel sick."_

_Derek sat up from his place on the floor and stood up, grudgingly and looked at her face. Her eyes looked a bit glazed over and her index fingers were vigorously rubbing her temples. "My head really hurts and I taste vomit in my mouth." Casey wailed and curled up into a ball. Derek giggled slightly._

_"Casey, you got sick last night, spent a few hours over the toilet. Stayed with you, you know. Told dad and Nora how sick you were. Musta been something you ate. Fainted o' somethin' with our friends here and I sent them all home."_

_Casey nodded and closed her eyes before she muttered, "Give me my blankets, I'm cold." Derek looked down and picked up the wad of blankets and draped them over her balled up figure._

_"Sweet dreams, Case. See ya when you're feeling better." _

To Crystal, this part was a bit boring, she flipped a few pages later, a bit confused.

_"Der-rek!!" Casey screamed, a few days after the "drinking fiasco", whilst running down the stairs and screaming her older step-brother's name._

_"In the kitchen," Casey's younger and biological sister, Lizzie stated. Casey's sister laughed, knowing that this was basically a daily routine, the fighting between the two. _

_Casey stormed into the kitchen, Hell almost breaking lose around her. Derek's face was buried in the abyss of the fridge. Upon hearing Casey's entering, her turned around, sandwich in his hand and a gloop of mustard on the corner of his lips. He stared at her, her hands on her hips and face red as an apple. Derek sighed. "What did I do this time, princess?" Casey glared at him and threw her diary at his feet. "What?" Derek said, puzzled, "I haven't gone through it, in like, months."_

_"No!" Casey shouted, "Not that!" She walked torwards him and whispered in his ear, "I wrote in my diary what happened the other night. I wasn't sick, I was drunk!"_

_Derek rolled his eyes and snickered a bit. "Only you would write when you're drunk out of your mind."_

_"Well," Casey said, a bit defensive, "my writing is kind of hard to read. ...but that's not the point!!" She was on the verge of tears._

_Derek chewed on his bottom lip and took another bite of sandwich. "If that's not it, then what?"_

_Casey sighed heavily. "Why didn't you tell me, why did you cover it up? Oh my gosh, this isn't me. What if people find out. Derek? My reputation, what will I do? What if Sam tells or Emily or Sheldon or..." Derek placed his finger on her lips._

_"Will you shut up? I didn't tell you to protect you, this is exactly how I knew you'd react! Casey, c'mon! I kept it quiet, I made everyone promise not to tell. Have you heard people say anything at school? No. They know I'll screw them up. It was my fault, I pressured you. It's not you, I know. You're perfect, but even perfect people can make mistakes. One time thing, you didn't do anything really stupid."_

_"Really stupid?" Casey gasped. "I made out with... Sam and... well, seems stupid to me."_

_"Making out isn't the worst you could have done..." Derek muttered. "I had to keep Ricky from taking advantage of you, and then you passed out and I kicked everyone out and cleaned up the mess."_

_"Derek..."_

_"Look, Casey," Derek continued, "it was my mess to clean up. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have protected you."_

_"We got to tell George and Nora," Casey blurted out._

_"No!" Derek protested. "No! Casey... we'll both be screwed."_

_"It's the right thing."_

_"For once, think about something, you, me. What they don't know, won't hurt them. Tell them in a few years, when we can all laugh about it later." Derek grabbed her shoulders and looked intently into her eyes. "Please? For me, at least?"_

_Casey averted her eyes from Derek's and looked on the floor. "Okay," she said meekly, "just this once."_

_"Good girl," Derek whispered and patted her on the head._

_"I'm not a dog, Derek." Casey mumbled. She turned on her heels to leave the kitchen when she turned aroudn again. Twirling a piece of hair around her finger. "So," she started "Ricky really tried to take advantage of me?"_

_"Yeah," Derek said, scratching the back of his head. "if it counts, he was drunk too."_

_"Uh-huh," Casey giggled a bit and then stated, "by the way, Derek, there's mustard on your lip." Smiling a wide, white, grin she turned away while Derek wiped his mouth with his sleeve and heard her footsteps prancing up the stairs._


	8. Tears and Heartbreak

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Life With Derek.

**Author's Note:** I'm back!!

**Chapter Eight**

Crystal took a soft, gentle hand and wiped Derek's wet hair from his sweat drenched face. "Feeling better, Der?" Crystalasked soothingly. Derek's sunken eyes looked up at her, his face was white, pale. Crystal was worried about him, took her hand and carressed his face. "Derek..."

"You've..." he gasped for a breath, "been reading Casey's diary."

Crystal just nodded and laid her head on Derek's chest. His heartbeat was rapid. "Derek, we need to get you to a doctor."

"I don't need one, Crystal," he said through gritted teeth. "No doctor."

Crystal nodded, through his shirt she could feel the heat radiating from his body, yet he wouldn't stop shivering. "What happened, Derek? After she found out you lied to her about drinking, her diary... just ends." Crystal lifted her head up and looked into Derek's eyes, but his eyes turned away. "What happened to Casey, Derek?"

"She got busy," were Derek's words. He reached for Crystal's hand. "I can't keep it in, anymore."

"Then tell me. Derek. I want to know. Where is Casey now? Perhaps we should tell her, you're ill."

"No," Derek shook his head. "that's impossible. Casey is dead."

Crystal shrank back. "What?" She quickly shook her head and stood up. "That's not... true." In fact, Crystal had become to attached to Casey, that in her mind, she pictured her, still, as a sweet, innocent girl left behind in Canada by her older brother. Crystal swallowed quickly. "You're lying."

"Look in the top drawer," Derek tilted his head towards a drawer on a dresser.

Crystal nodded, shaking, and walked over to the dresser. She pulled open the door and peered in. Inside, there were just socks and boxer shorts. Crystal pushed aside the socks to reveal several newspaper clippings. Carefully, she picked them up and flipped through them.

**Toronto Girl Missing  
Missing Toronto Girl Found Dead  
Police Have No Leads in the Death of Casey MacDonald**...and so on, and so forth. Crystal shook her head. "No. How? Do..." Crystal looked back at Derek. "What happened? What do you know, Derek?"

"Sit down," her muttered, "it's a long story." Then, he began to explain, "I thought Casey was okay, you know, the way she laughed about the drinking thing, later. She was just so, innocent, so sweet, so worried. I knew she'd act like that, but I thought it was okay. Well, a few days later she came into my room..."

_"Derek!" Casey's face was strained in tears. "I'm so scared. My conscience hurts, I need to tell my mom or George."_

Derek looked up from a comic book her was reading. "Crazy talk, Case. We already discussed this."

_"It feels so wrong," she whispered, "how do you keep up with all this deception and lies?"_

"Oh," Derek sighed, laying his comic book down next to him on the bed. "like you don't have one secret you've never told anyone."

Casey looked away. "I hate you."

"The feeling is mutual," Derek mumbled, rolling his eyes. "Now, get out of my room," he added with a flick of his wrist, pointing to the door. Casey protested though, stomping her foot and staying put.

"I'm not leaving until we figure this out."

"We already did!" Derek groaned, running his fingers through his hair. "We decided no one would say anything. Remember? Casey, just, no. Nora and George would kill us. You know that. Stop being such a skank."

Casey's jaw dropped to the floor when he said skank. "Take that back," she whispered. "Take it back, right now!" Casey started to cry again. "How can you say that? I'm not a skank!" Casey fell to the floor and buried her face in her hands.

Derek raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "I was kidding." By now he knew something was really wrong with her. "Casey," he said quickly as he got up and walked over to her. Derek laid a gentle hand on her, and knealt beside her. Derek took his hand and stroked her perfect, soft hair. How did she make it so straight and perfect?

"Nothing," Casey snapped. "nothing is wrong. I'm just being an emotional wreck!"

Derek shook his head. "No, something, is wrong with you, princess." He took a strand of her hair and twirled it around his fingers. "Casey, please, reason with me."

Casey stared up at him, her blue eyes dull and sad. "I'm fine. Just, unsure of what to do."

Derek gave her a quick hug, but she was stiff to it. She just sat there. "Casey, please." He took his index finger and moved her head towards him, but her eyes stayed steadily looking at the ground. She appeared so empty, so hurt. He didn't know how, or why the next few words stumbled out, but the way she looked seemed to scream for it. So, the words tumbled out of his mouth. "I know I'm not the best," he said, "but please, run away with me, Casey."

Casey's eyes looked up at him, "What?" She got up quickly. "You're crazy. I can't believe this." She hurried out of the room, her footsteps quick across the floor. Derek felt his heart beat in his throat and tried to keep it down. Rejection, not something he was used to, but it was stupid. He didn't understand why he had said that.

"Then what?" Crystal inquired. Then she saw the drowsiness in Derek's eyes. The way he started to fall into the pillow, the bed. Crystal nodded. "Of course, you need your sleep." She gently stroked his hair back with her hand.

"When I wake up," he muttered "I can finish it." He looked up at Crystal with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry. I just... feel so... sick."

Crystal nodded in understanding. "Yeah, you get rest. Your health is more important."

"No," Derek muttered, "its not."


End file.
